Friday, January 28, 2011

Are All Ryan Gosling Movies the Same Movie, A Perspective

Hey, #protip to anyone with a comcast ondemand subscription: All Good Things, that Ryan Gosling movie, is available for only $5, a pretty nice discount from what you'd pay for a theatre ticket. So because of that, I got to watching it yesterday, and then I found Blue Valentine online for streaming (thanks Harvey Weinstein screeners!) today, and.... I must ask you, as a blog readership, if these were supposed to be two different movies. Because they weren't. Here we go-

Ryan Gosling is dapper-looking young man who meets a sweet young blonde girl. They look very attractive together.


Next stop, the chapel!


That Ryan Gosling, always getting married.

First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the inevitable abortion clinic visit.

Whoops! But lest you think everyone's just running around killing babies all the time, do note that there are times when everyone takes a nice, long break and just bums around the country in that quaint way that country folk do. (To add to the morbidity, there's also a dead dog featured in both films.)

Oh, and have I mentioned what these lovely ladies do for a living? Because it seems like different incantations of Ryan Gosling have managed to find the only two attractive, blonde ladies who happily pursue the study of medicine. Yes, with the blood and the guts and stuff. That medicine.

And maybe this is a demand that Ryan insists on for all of his characters, but DAMN does dude smoke a lot of cigarettes and/or weed. Just constantly smoking, that guy.

But good thing he's got the comfort of a good lady.

That is until he brutally murders the one and gets divorced by the other. I would say "oh spoiler alert" but both of those are pretty much the entire movie plot summary, so what's the point.

The last similarity happens to be that you get to see both of these women topless in the shower with Ryan, but I won't repost those pictures here because c&uw doesn't need to carry a NSFW tag.

So, I'm not going to review these movies. There's enough people doing that. Needless to say, Michelle deserves her Oscar nod and more. She's exquisite and heartbreaking. Ryan, on the other hand... Does he even have to show up to set any more? The boy is undeniably good-looking, but we (the viewership) need to demand that he choose some variety for his next project. I suggest a bromance movie with Andrew Garfield and Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Who wouldn't buy a ticket for that? No one. That's who.

Let's just hope that The Goss manages to age slightly better than his characters. A shiver-inducing sign off-


  1. He could have at least managed to do these movies at different times - it's kind of like when you take the exact class in the same quarter and all your work is the same and you basically get credit for 2 things when you only had to try in one (lame analogy i know). I bet sometimes he mixed up his lines and then they were like "what...?? well it fits, go with it"

  2. on another note - since i don't have anything better to do with my life, the month of february will be celebrated watching ALL the movies that ANYONE OR ANYTHING is nominated for so i can make a valid judgment for who's going to win best actress and the like. I'M GONE BE READY.